Before I start writing about my Portugal travels, my November intentions, or anything else… I need to do this mental health update.
So for about 12 days at the end of October I traveled to Portugal with Wilson. I had the best time of my life and the experience was absolutely incredible. We got back on the 30th and everything was amazing.
Then on the 1st (yesterday) I had a massive panic attack. I have had a big one before but this is the worst it has ever been. I am trying to figure out what happened and what caused it to be so explosive as it was. About after 30 minutes of trying to catch my breath with tears streaming down my face I fell asleep. I was so exhausted from my panic attack that I just slept throughout the night and into the morning.
This morning I woke up and it felt like there was something sitting on my chest. I looked outside and it is a beautiful day. The skies are clear, it is beautiful and I am alive. I woke up, drank a cup of coffee, did some journaling, and it still feels like my heart is beating out of my chest. My eyes are heavy, and it feels like my brain is moving in slow motion.
This is how I feel right now, and I am trying to shake it. Thank you for reading.