I’m quite frustrated with myself because I planned out 25 things to write about during Blogmas and today I am unmotivated to write about any of it. I have seasonal depression, and today it is taking me for a whirlwind. At the beginning of this blogmas journey I was also going to post the blogs at the same time everyday. I wrote out a schedule for myself for December that I would follow, but today is literally day 3 and I could not follow it. I had a mild panic attack this morning which put a pause on my morning routine.
It’s hard because I have to work at a customer service job for 8 hours with a huge smile on my face all day when really I just want to crawl up into a ball and cry. People at my job claim to understand mental health issues but they really don’t. It’s not that they don’t want to care, it’s just that they don’t understand which makes them subconsciously not care.
I never experienced seasonal depression because I am from Hawai’i. Yes there are parts of the year where it rains more than other times, but it is still beautiful and magical. Here in Seattle, EVERYONE is grumpier and a little more rough. Which makes it tough for everyone who is battling this monster.
My workouts have been better as I am purposefully trying to push myself harder for endorphins. My eating has been 50/50. It really just depends on how good or bad the seasonal depression is that day. My sleep has been 50/50. I get a lot of nightmares when I am feeling extra stressed and anxious. I have been taking more vitamin D though!
I am hoping for more positive content from me the rest of this blogmas. If not though, at least I am following through on my goals.
Thank you for all the support and following along!