Yes you read that title correctly.
Settlers of freaking Catan.
I downloaded the phone version of this game because my boyfriendʻs family has got me hooked on this game. We have realized that there is an online version of this game (itʻs 5 bucks) and we can play with each other.
I have played this game… all. day. long.
Like… okay I did some homework, I ate some food, I watched Parks & Rec… but I mostly played Settlers of Catan.
Anyways… I do feel a little bit guilty but, Iʻm allowed to have a day where I just play a virtual board game.
I do feel good though. I’m trying to give myself grace throughout this time because it’s a mentally difficult time for everyone.
How is everyone doing today?
I think I had a real epiphany this morning… kind of like a root of all my problems.
Okay well let me explain. In January one of my goals or intentions for the year 2020 is to be kinder to other people. The key words are TO OTHER PEOPLE. Sometimes I can get snappy and a bit judgemental of others and I just wanted to work on being kind.
Anyways, now it is April… I feel like I am doing better overall with being kind to others, but I realized I am SO MEAN TO MYSELF. SO MEAN.
A good example is Demi Lovato’s “I Love Me” song. She has a line that says “I’m an expert at beating up on myself”. Yes. This is so relevant to me right now. I literally just poop on myself all the time. I am so incredibly hard on myself.
I believe this is the reason why I take criticism so poorly. Because I have convinced myself that I suck, and I shouldn’t let other people see how much I suck.
It’s a lot. There’s a lot of thoughts going on in my head right now about it.
The one thing is… I am switching these thoughts. I have decided that whenever I feel myself beating up on myself I am going to remind myself “it’s okay”, “you are human”, “it’s okay to make mistakes”, “it’s okay to feel this way”.
Well, I think I am going to wrap up this blog post.
I hope you are all doing great. Stay safe and healthy.